Home › Forums › Cringe Channel (General/Misc/Other) › Man who REALLY loves his car
This topic contains 165 replies, has 47 voices, and was last updated by
vinbe 5 months, 3 weeks ago.
-
AuthorPosts
-
HOLD IT! There’s a huge contradiction in your testimony.
If you’re so set on convincing us that you’re attracted to the feminine aspects of a car…then why aren’t you attracted to actual real women? Why settle for something that looks very vaguely like a woman if you kind of squint a little bit. Furthermore, why the images of cars with penises? Penises aren’t very feminine at all. Your argument is as full of holes as your life partner, Ms. Honda.
You all know I'm the worst, I know I'm the worst, let's not waste any time hereWrought just cracked the case.
This is our town, scrub.Wrought just cracked the case.
I’ve got everything I need right here in the DS emulato-I mean in the court record.
You all know I'm the worst, I know I'm the worst, let's not waste any time hereHOLD IT! There’s a huge contradiction in your testimony. If you’re so set on convincing us that you’re attracted to the feminine aspects of a car…then why aren’t you attracted to actual real women? Why settle for something that looks very vaguely like a woman if you kind of squint a little bit. Furthermore, why the images of cars with penises? Penises aren’t very feminine at all. Your argument is as full of holes as your life partner, Ms. Honda.
I wouldn’t really call that a “contradiction,” but whatever. 9.9 Firstly I never said that I wasn’t attracted to human women, in fact in my postings I said the exact opposite. It’s also been clearly stated by not only me but other people on this thread repeating my statement, that I’m gay for cars, not gay for humans. To which I rationalized that perhaps its because even masculine cars have lots of feminine curves making them understandably gender ambiguous.
I’m attracted to both, I’m bi, ever heard of that little term? Bi for cars, and straight for humans. If I weren’t attracted to girls why would I have drawn all this type stuff?
http://half-dude.deviantart.com/art/Human-Cindy-Miata-451274585?q=gallery%3AHalf-dude%2F1952839&qo=29
http://half-dude.deviantart.com/art/Vroom-Vroom-Baby-427704445?q=gallery%3AHalf-dude%2F1952839&qo=33
http://half-dude.deviantart.com/art/GLaDOS-Moon-Cake-190352703?q=gallery%3AHalf-dude%2F1952839&qo=127
http://half-dude.deviantart.com/art/GlaDOS-Sponge-Cake-172275922?q=gallery%3AHalf-dude%2F1952839&qo=137
http://half-dude.deviantart.com/art/GlaDOS-Delicious-and-Moist-155828883
http://half-dude.deviantart.com/art/Human-Vee-85986059?q=gallery%3AHalf-dude%2F1952839&qo=184
Besides, I’m obviously attracted to female cars, their big round asses and their big bouncy titties. That attraction had to have come from an initial attraction to human girls!
Not sure what relation this has to do with Lilly, and she’s a Hyundai dumbass.
Here’s one of my more recent anthro-car characters. Cindi, the Mazda Miata. The running joke with her is that she’s this California valley-girl types, a total “blonde” and oblivious as all hell, But she was also blessed with a rack that’d turn every head around. She’s used in pin-up pictures mostly, but in all of them she’s unintentionally attractive and totally oblivious to it. XD
IRL:






Cindi taking a selfie:

“woah, how’d you get in there huh??”
Cleavage Stowaway
Moar to come.
Moar to come.
Can I pick you up on that offer to prove this is you by making a log of us on your deviant art?
I♂DECIDED♂TO♂GO♂FULL♂MASTEROkay, back sorry, just finished gouging out my eyes and filling the sockets with bleach. Before I hang myself and set my house on fire there’s just a few things that don’t make sense to me.
1. How does your car have boobs in your eyes? I mean if you’re attracted to big boobs I can see you drawing it with them (actually I can’t really see anything anymore) but if you’re claiming there is anything in your car’s actual physical shape that would imply the shape of breasts I just don’t see it
2. Why do the boobs slosh around? I’m pretty sure boobs aren’t just spherical milk bags, so why would they make sloshing noises. Furthermore, why would a car have boobs or a vagina to begin with? Are cars mammals now? Can they birth new cars? Is this why Detroit and Windsor’s auto industry crashed, because a leak of how awful the disgusting sex hives of the car breeders were caused national outrage? I know I’m trying to inject logic into something that is a clear vacuum of logic, choking anyone willing to submit themselves to it, but as a human being I feel obligated to try and understand the members of my own species that have strayed off of the road of coherent thought and have gone back to the most primal of urges, eating, fucking, killing, and drawing car porn
and perhaps the most important question of all
3. Did you jerk off during Cars? Please be honest.
You all know I'm the worst, I know I'm the worst, let's not waste any time herepeople who are attracted to vehicles need to be inCARcerated. haha… Get it? Because in’car’cerated.. and the guy likes cars
why are you just shitposting your own fanfiction art now
also how are you attracted to regular cars when all of the cars that you draw are anthropomorphized (ex. faces, tits, etc.)
i was the homeless man all alongSomeone was saying I’m playing the victim card? I never played the victim card. I didn’t come here saying “omg guys you’re so mean leave me alone!*cries*” Though I’m sure that’s what you want because this forum is for antisocial online trolls and sadists. I was making the argument that a lot of mechs are closeted and feel oppressed and as MY personal mission I’m going to be open about being OS and draw pictures expressing my feeling and if possible draw attention to the existence of our orientation. (that you to you guys for doing just that by the way )
You just proved my point, I said you didn’t come in here trying to victimize yourself, at first you tried to be an internet tough guy. Then you went on to say how most mechs are closeted and “oppressed”, almost as if they’re victims. It doesn’t matter though, I made you a welcoming video

I♂DECIDED♂TO♂GO♂FULL♂MASTER1. How does your car have boobs in your eyes? I mean if you’re attracted to big boobs I can see you drawing it with them (actually I can’t really see anything anymore) but if you’re claiming there is anything in your car’s actual physical shape that would imply the shape of breasts I just don’t see it
2. Why do the boobs slosh around? I’m pretty sure boobs aren’t just spherical milk bags, so why would they make sloshing noises. Furthermore, why would a car have boobs or a vagina to begin with? Are cars mammals now? Can they birth new cars?
3. Did you jerk off during Cars? Please be honest.
1. Omg you’re stupid! Do you know the definition of a fantasy?! Of fucking course real cars don’t have titties! News flash, giant tentacle rape monsters don’t really exist, a human body can’t be inflated to planet size proportions with air/water, and anime sized or bigger tits don’t look perfectly round and perky in real life like they do in the cartoons. My art is ‘cars improved’ but that doesn’t mean that real cars need tits or whatever for me to find them attractive, just that they’d be even more attractive if they did. What other reason do I draw them like that? Because I like the artistic challenge of it okay? And I like seeing people like you gouge your eyes out at the sight of it, guess I’m getting a little bit of sadism in me after spending time around you guys. lol
2. Because I think imaging them as big sloshy milk bags is hotter that’s why. Also, due to the mechanical nature of car tits, they literally are ‘tanks’ of milk. As for them reproducing, yes, yes they do, and you’d know that if you actually looked at my gallery. Allow me to educate you in my next post.
3. No.

“In the first part of the picture we see a free-floating cut-away of the vehicle reproduction system. It varies in design slightly from manufacturer to manufacturer, but all in all they all have the same basic design. In my alt-universe where these anthro-cars exist, they ARE still built, bought, and maintained by the humans who make and own them. The idea behind anthro cars is that they could be a form of transportation but also a companion and an active, walking, talking, member of the family.
All anthro-cars are sold with their reproductive organs intact. But like with a pet, owners, who don’t want to bother with the extra maintenance of a sexually active car can choose to have them neutered, which involves simply removing the inner reproductive components. Most people don’t though, since baby cars can be pretty profitable. Families who own a car that has a litter of pups can either raise them to be driven by other members of the family, or to even replace the parent car when she/he gets to old. While it’s against the law for owners to sell their car-pups themselves since they legally belong to the manufacturer. The owners can sell the pups back to the manufacturer for a generous cash reward. The pups are then sold to new owners when they come to age.
Enough of world building though lets get to the picture:
Having been built by humans, anthro-car reproductive systems pretty much copy that of humans though in a mechanical manner. The female system consists of the vagina, cervix, ovaries, and uterus, and they work essentially like they do in humans. Depending on the make of the car, they can have one or two ovaries, the number doesn’t matter a lot since new eggs can be ‘installed’ if the female car runs through her supply before having offspring.
The vaginal opening and tube is made of an advanced silicon rubber material much like that of sex-toys but much more resilient. Imbedded within the material are hundreds of small pleasure/touch sensors. In the case of birth or orgasm, the entire vagina can rhythmically contract and pulsate with a variety of force because of an intricate network of hydraulics. The vagina is also self-lubricating in response to stimulation, the material of the vagina is porous allowing secretion of synthetic lubricant which enters the system from an intake line in the cervix.
A female car can commute while pregnant depending on how far into the pregnancy she is. If her belly is to the point where it’s dragging or even squeezed into the road, it’s advices that she be kept at home until she delivers. This is one of the bothers that may cause some owners to have their cars neutered if they’re buying a female. Much of a females pregnant belly is liquid weight, saline fluid, which acts as a protective cushion for the developing pups and protect them from being jostled around too harshly while she commutes.
A female car does develop breasts in adulthood, though the size and shape is genetic.. or at least the computerized electronic version of genetics involved with anthro cars. For the most part they hover around the B to C equivalent cup sizes though they can be bigger or smaller. Due to mankind’s feelings of superiority in their own physical design, anthro cars are given human-looking breasts even though multiple rows of breasts seen on dogs and cats would be better suited given their large liter of offspring. Instead the nipple-area is designed to have multiple nipples, around 6 and 8.. still though, with large litters sometimes pups have to wait their turns. A car’s breasts will automatically shrink drastically in size when driving around to keep them from dragging along the ground.
Car milk consists of a high octane fuel rationed from the mother’s own diet, enhanced by systems in the breasts that mix in additional additives to help build the babies strength and brake in their new tiny engines.
More information on the formation of the fetuses is in the actual image and may be touched on in more detail later in it’s own picture. A friendly mother to be Prius has offered to show just how the babies look in the womb using special x-ray equipment. I know some of you people that are racist towards hybrid vehicles might spit at the sight of them procreating, but just remember that she is here voluntarily for your own education.
”
“As promised, here is a new addition to my legendary cross-section studies. In this two part series I’ll finally reveal the inner workings of how these anthro-cars of mine work.
Unlike with the female cross-section, there’s quite a lot less to have to explain, since lets face it… us boys are quite a bit mechanically simple compared to them girls. ^_O
I’ve been wanting to put the car-penis to rest like this for quite a while, because probably one of the things I get asked about ALL the time is “lol how does he drive with those big nuts dangling down.. bet that hurts ow lol.” I’ve explained to said people that the balls deflate into an inner semen tank, and the whole package folds up inside his body when the car has to get down on all fours to drive. Even this submission itself doesn’t really show it in action, which is why I’ve made an animation to show it. : 3
One of the bigger questions I had approaching this, was how does the actual mechanics work for the male erm… shooting his load. After a bit of thought I eventually looked to standard commercial grade spray-bottles for the answer, since I saw their manner of pulsating squirts close to what you’d expect. I’m surprised at the mechanical complexity a simple squirt-bottle has when I looked it up.
http://static.howstuffworks.com/flash/spray-bottle.swf">static.howstuffworks.com/flash…
Something I wasn’t able to manage showing. The four slit-like openings on both sides of the penis-head. They act as lubricators, letting small amounts of car-semen leak out the sides. Though you can see the slit-like passages in the cutaway of the head.
I always knew that I wanted to have the extending and contracting of the car-penis shaft achieved through the use of a large hydraulic. Though their have been some designs that have came and went. At one point their was the idea that the penis would extend and contract rapidly during sex in a sort of jack-hammer motion. Though I didn’t like the idea, as that eliminated the need for any humping. Their was also the idea of the penis head containing a vibrator motor inside it to increase pleasure for the female.. something I suppose can still be there. XD Just think of those little spinning weight motors in your PlayStation dual-shock controllers but on a much larger scale.
As always if you have any questions feel free to ask.”
Early Vehicle Procreation Stages, this was before I gave them tits.




my dude actually thinks someone’s gonna read all that shit ^
anyway so what happens when you total your super cool hyundai because you’re too busy jackin it to pay attention to the road. are you gonna like have a junkyard funeral or something and bury the cube of crushed metal they make her into or what
I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too. -
AuthorPosts
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
